Being A Starseed And Having Abilities - Is It Glittering Gold?

I find it interesting how Hollywood portrays those of us with abilities, according to Hollywood, its cool, flashy, sexy and reserved for angst ridden teenagers, How cute!. If only it were that simple. Truth is that having abilities is anything but. On a daily basis I find myself facing this dark aspect of my life, Not to sound cliche and "angst ridden" (lol maybe Hollywood got that part right), but truth is that its a nightmare, ever since I was little my life has been one big disaster after another all because of my abilities, I was labeled "Crazy" when I was little even though I showed proof of my abilities when I was little, I would announce when people were going to die (because I thought it was normal) and then they would die, people were disturbed enough by this that they thought some thing was either mentally or spiritually wrong with me. I lived my life being tested like a lab rat going through mental and physical tests to figure out why I was "broken."

Then came those close friends whom you would think would understand and be compassionate, you pour your soul out to them only to be met with questions like: "You don't look like a superhero type," so what exactly does a "superhero" look like? I wish someone would enlighten me! My abilities did not spontaneously develop during puberty or during a traumatic event, I had them all my life and they haven't been a walk in the park at all, every time I try to talk about them all I hear is that I am coming from a place of Ego, but really am I? or are you? I just want to talk about something that is natural but it seems jealousy plays a part in the lives of even those who claim to be awakened, aren't we the seeds of the new earth? starseeds? aren't we supposed to be examples of what is possible? and if so, why cant we express it? how can we expect humanity to accept if we can not accept it ourselves? I am here complaining about my abilities but I accept them, its a part of every day life, and to me that's what bothers me to a degree.

Because while the average person sees superheros on TV and people with special powers and think, "wow, that's cool!" it really isn't cool at all, well It is cool when you actually make a difference in even one persons life, but, to live every day without being able to touch a lamp or a light switch, it gets pretty tiresome, pretty quick, especially when all you do is walk in to a building and you set off alarm systems, and you hear people saying, "that was odd, we just replaced the alarm system, this shouldn't happen." The worst part is not having anyone to talk to about it, its a lonely existence and Hollywood is making a killer fortune about something it knows almost nothing about, I often wonder, do they really know what its like to have special powers? do they know what what its like to be chased by government agents your entire life both astrally and physically? I wonder if they really do understand the gravity of this when they portray it in movies? Do they really "get" how it feels when you feel secluded from society because you know at a moments notice your powers can manifest and you have no control over that whatsoever?

I mean at least the Xmen have Professor Xavier, but in real life, there is no Professor X or even an X mansion, there is nothing and no one to teach you to control your abilities, no one to help you along when you touch just one light switch and you blow the fuses in the entire house, twice. In fact, I picked up a lamp tonight and it blew out, AGAIN, it was a brand new bulb. As a child I would dream of a man like professor X would come to me and recruit me to something like the Xmen, but this is reality and I am 29 and nothing, So from what I am noticing, we are supposed to show humanity that they too can do this and in this way we can all move together in to a new paradigm, but I wonder, how can we show anything if we cant control it? there is only one ability that I can control, the rest, well, they come and go as they please, or it seems that way.

I have always had abilities, but I have always had oddities to accompany those abilities as well, I was born on November 24th 1981 even though my legal adoptive birthday is November 26th, my birth is shrouded in mystery as well as my adoption, my mother wont tell me much of anything about who my father is, she also says that after I was born my father vanished and I was illegally adopted. I mean I know what his name is but, any search I have done has not yielded any results. And I am not being given any information about him at all. In regards to my adoptive family, they wont tell me why they adopted me or how I came in to their care either. I was always ridiculed for being "different" but I never knew why or how they thought I was different, in high school I became popular somehow, but that would not last as we were constantly moving, (my adoptive family and I), I never knew about the dark military operations when I was little but I knew not to use my abilities in front of my family when I was little, almost all my family was military, there were air force, army, marines, policemen, sergeants, chief of police you name it, it was like living on a military base. I only showed my ability to my adoptive mother.

My adoptive mother told me of stories of living near a large extraterrestrial base in Arecibo, Puerto Rico and seeing strange lights in the sky disappear in to mountains and she would tell me how her father, my grandfather, would see crafts hovering above him and would experience missing time, somehow I have managed to be illegally taken away from my birth family who also has extraterrestrial involvement (my step dad is a UFO researcher) to being placed with a military family who lived near an extraterrestrial base and has had contact of the 5th kind. The family I was taken from also have abilities, my mom and sister are both psychic mediums and also have problems with electrical appliances and electrical things in general.

To be honest though, I will say, I have helped quite a few friends, I just wish it wasn't something so taboo in this world, I wish it was something we could easily go get advice about at your nearest local X mansion, I wish that we could all wake up one day and knock on our neighbors door and ask for a new light bulb because we blew the new one we just bought for the 9th time this week. I wish we could talk about it openly like we talk about the weather, I wish there weren't any expectations from those that DO listen, I wish it was as normal as brushing your teeth before bed. Maybe in the not to distant future it will be, till then, my blog will take on the role of Professor Xavier.